Who Are You Anyway?

“A young child once asked a rabbi why man was created with two eyes instead of one, like the nose or the mouth.

“With the left eye, you should look at yourself, to see how you can improve yourself. And with the right eye, you should look at others lovingly, always seeking out their best qualities.”

From “Toward a Meaningful Life”

Reb. Menachem Mendel Schneerson

 

Self-assessment combined with having an optimistic view of others, especially potential mates, is a real challenge.

We don’t have the patience, self-restraint or will power to bracket our own feelings, especially in a consumer society. Today, we are consumed with bad feelings about the nation’s politics, money and family matters. If you are dating, there are even more things to consider.

And with our two eyes, we have to train ourselves to see the two sides of ourselves, plus the two sides of every person and every relationship.

None of this is easy.

It is a process to retrain our brains and self-restraint as we get older to not write-off people who we disagree with on the slightest matters.

As the sages said, when you grasp for everything, you end up with nothing. Be incremental in what you want to achieve. Make a friend who can turn into a partner. As we age, be realistic in your expectations. If you are an older man, look for the beauty under the makeup. If you are an older woman, the man you may meet will not be an Olympic athlete.

This does not mean you should settle for something you do not want, but you should be realistic.

Realize that as an older person you are closer to your destination than you think.

Realize that you should keep moving to your destination, and as more time passes, our ultimate destination is also moving towards us.

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