Are Politically Informed Women Sexier?




Editor’s Note:  Some people have objected to the use of a photo from the 2017 Women’s March in Washingon DC, that drew over one million people.  It seems the photo of the pink hats has a negative, vulgar connotation to some people.  I chose to use this photo because it was colorful and met the technical requirements of this site, but the photo elicited many responses.  It seems many people reacted to the photo but did not bother to read the article. This is unfortunate, but not unexpected, since this was a political article and nerves are very sensitive on both sides. However, the objections seemed to center on the name of the hats, which stems from Donald Trump, who made a famous remark during his campaign that he can touch a woman’s genitals and no one will object. This statement, and many other anti-women comments like it, are what gave the hat its name and the strong reactions to its use. So, in today’s volatile political atmosphere,  Trump has made it possible that a hat is no longer a hat. 

Americans are now in the most politically charged environment since the 1960s when anti-war activism, feminism, a distrust of established institutions, and a final push to make a break from the stodgy 1950s, all culminated in a national movement to change the social and political landscapes.

With a few exceptions, we are living through one of these periods now, one that may usher in a new paradigm if new, forward-thinking political candidates win in the 2020 election.

But in the interim, we are seeing a sharp divide between political parties that has moved to the grassroots levels. It is affecting family and work relationships and even dating. Some women I know will not even date a person if they are from the opposite political camp. For better or worse, these are the political times we now live in.

So, this leads us to a related question: Are politically aware women sexier or more attractive than women who either do not express their political views or are not aware of the nation’s political condition?

Politically Aware vs. Politically Ardent?

When I was dating, I met women who were politically aware, politically active and held strong political view about what was affecting the nation and their own personal choices, such as abortion or how the school board would treat a local referendum. These women always seemed more interesting to me since they had insights into the social and political environment and sources of power that were shaping the debates.  Being aware of political power sources is something all Americans, men and women, should be aware of since it shapes long-a and short-term political outcomes.

For instance, the political and legal future of abortion is now being shaped by at the state and national political levels. These are decisions that can affect the lives of all women for generations to come, so it should concern all women.  But in many cases, that issue and many others don’t register with affected women.

There is also the issue of dating a woman with strong political feelings or interests on any issue.  This includes politics, corruption, the prospects of entering another war, or income inequality.  Now, let’s be realistic. Political policy discussions are not the chief element to any successful date, but a woman’s viewpoint on these issues is still part of her entire presentation.

Don’t Get Too Emotional

Then, there is the issue of how emotional she is on a specific issue.  I once went out on a date and a boxing match was on the TV. She and a group of her friends loudly said the match was barbaric, a gross display of male chauvinism, too violent, and should not be considered a sport.  These are all valid criticisms, but their arguments were too strong and unexpected.  As described in my book, another woman I went out with was an ardent tennis player. She constantly watched matches on TV.  Even if I was a tennis player, I would have to be a fanatic to keep up with her.  It did not last long.

So, my modest answer to the question of whether politically aware and moderately involved women are more attractive than others is: Yes.

One of the greatest compliments you can pay a person is that they were in tune with their generation.  For better or worse, the U.S. political system is at a tipping point. The next election will produce changes can affect people for generations, so it is best to be aware, involved and know the forces that are shaping our lives for years to come.

For more on this topic and others related to online dating experiences, good and bad, get the book, You Don’t Think I’m Beautiful, on Amazon and Kindle. $14.95 for Prime members.


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You Can’t Recover the Past




The concert was a success, but the audience had died.


Trying to recapture any piece of your past is a futile activity.

We can certainly learn from our pasts, but it cannot be recreated. If you try to recapture any part of your memories, you will be disappointed.

That was a lesson learned from attending a recent rock concert in West Palm Beach, Florida. The onstage group was the Cream, or more correctly the sons and a nephew of the original group that was known for its long, energetic, power solo improvisations. The original three-member group only lasted from 1966 to 1968 before life intervened and they dissolved the band. During this short time, the group’s third album, Wheels of Fire (1968), became the world’s first platinum-selling double album.

Now, almost 50 years later, two sons of the original players (Kofi Baker, Ginger Baker’s son), Malcolm Bruce, Jack Bruce’s son) and Will Johns (Eric Clapton’s nephew), created the ultimate, near-genetically exact tribute band. By taking lessons from their fathers, along with some developed musical talent, this band gives a very close re-creation of the original sound from 50 years ago.

The musical nostalgia worked, but the big disappointment was from my fellow Baby Boomer concert attendees. As much as I looked forward to this event, I was even more excited to see who would attend this event. I expected the crowd to show the expected signs of aging, but more importantly, the verve and raw energy that I saw in the audience during a Cream concert in Chicago in 1968 was all gone.

Too many Baby Boomers at this event, held in a grand carpeted concert hall, suffered from social media distractions and the isolation of retirement. The crowd was almost 100% white, and judging from the cars in the lot, were middle- to upper-class retirees from the surrounding towns. But a big piece of this gathering of like-minded fans was missing.

Walking Through Life

What was different from the rock concert experience of 40 years ago was the feeling that we were attending something new. Maybe it was the fresh sense of being close to your 20s. But there was much more. The era of the 1960s is hard to describe. Things were changing fast.

The Viet Nam War had energized the nation, a corrupt president was forced out by a Congress that largely had a sense of duty, drugs gave many people new experiences, students on campuses organized around a purpose or shared goal. There was a sense among some young people that real progress could be made towards a future social goal. Things could be better without the great advances we have today in consumer technology. There were no social media.

If you wanted a date, you went to a party, bar, restaurant or the campus. You had more control. If you didn’t act, you could blame yourself. Accountability worked. There was no such thing as “incel” groups. These guys were just nerds, without any special self-pitying identity they have today. At a rock concert in the ’60s or ’70s, concertgoers passed joints down the row to anonymous strangers until it disappeared 10 or 20 people down the row. Many people went with friends to the concert and made more friends at the concert.

Flash forward 40 years, and this concert audience lacked any social awareness. They were socially stoic. Couples came in, sat down and did not talk to the people sitting next to them. Many pulled out their phones at intermission rather than talk to people around them. I wondered how many of these Baby Boomers had seen the original group in concert? Where were they when they heard the band? Were they in college? How much did they pay for a ticket? (My bet is that it was under $10 in 1970 compared to $80 today.) Why were they at the concert tonight? What made them want to hear a tribute band? In short, what were they looking for? Or, was it just another night away from the condo or the house in West Palm Beach, Florida?

I never found out. We went to the concert, heard it and left without talking to any of our fellow Baby Boomers and concert attendees. The band was energetic and talented, but not original. They told some stories about the ill effects of too many drugs. One said he was given a joint to smoke by his father at age six. Some had a few stories about how songs were written, but the Cream was never known as songwriters; they were great soloists at a time when they could shine and cement their reputations. That is what brought the crowds 40 years later, but while it was the same music, it was not the same crowd.

A Greek philosopher said: “you cannot cross the same river twice,” and he was right. This river had flowed past decades ago. The people in the beautiful concert hall once were in the river; now they were well downstream. And all that happened without selfies to record the change.

The book, You Don’t Think I’m Beautiful, is available on Amazon and Kindle. 

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