The False Promise of Nostalgia at a Rock Concert in West Palm Beach

 

 

 

 

The concert was a success, but the audience had died.

Trying to recapture any piece of your past is a futile activity. We can certainly learn from our pasts, but it cannot be recreated. If you try to recapture any part of your memories, you will be disappointed.

That was a lesson learned from attending a recent rock concert in West Palm Beach, Florida. The onstage group was the Cream, or more correctly, the sons and a nephew of the original group that was known for its long, energetic, power solo improvisations. The original three-member group only lasted from 1966 to 1968 before life intervened and they dissolved the band. During this short time, the group’s third album, Wheels of Fire (1968), became the world’s first platinum-selling double album.

Now, almost 50 years later, two sons of the original players (Kofi Baker, Ginger Baker’s son), Malcolm Bruce, Jack Bruce’s son) and Will Johns (Eric Clapton’s nephew), created the ultimate, near-genetically exact tribute band. By taking lessons from their fathers, along with some developed musical talent, this band gives a very close re-creation of the original sound from 50 years ago.

The musical nostalgia worked, but the big disappointment was from my fellow Baby Boomer concert attendees. As much as I looked forward to this event, I was even more excited to see who would attend this event.  I expected the crowd to show the expected signs of aging, but more importantly, the verve and raw energy that I saw in the audience during a Cream concert in Chicago in 1968 was all gone.

Too many Baby Boomers at this event, held in a grand carpeted concert hall, suffered from social media distractions and the isolation of retirement. The crowd was almost 100% white, and judging from the cars in the lot, were middle- to upper-class retirees from the surrounding towns. But a big piece of this gathering of like-minded fans was missing.

Walking Through Life

What was different from the rock concert experience of 40 years ago was the feeling that we were attending something new. Maybe it was the fresh sense of being close to your 20s. But there was much more. The era of the 1960s is hard to describe. Things were changing fast.
The Viet Nam War had energized the nation, a corrupt president was forced out by a Congress that largely had a sense of duty, drugs gave many people new experiences, students on campuses organized around a purpose or shared goal. There was a sense among some young people that real progress could be made towards a future social goal. Things could be better without the great advances we have today in consumer technology. There were no social media.

If you wanted a date, you went to a party, bar, restaurant or the campus. You had more control. If you didn’t act, you could blame yourself. Accountability worked. There was no such thing as “incel” groups. These guys were just nerds, without any special self-pitying identity they have today. At a rock concert in the 60s or 70s, concertgoers passed joints down the row to anonymous strangers until it disappeared 10 or 20 people down the row. Many people went with friends to the concert and made more friends at the concert.

Flash forward 40 years, and this concert audience lacked any social awareness. They were socially stoic. I saw couples come in, sit down and not talk to anyone. Many pulled out their phones at intermission rather than talk to people around them. I wondered how many of these Baby Boomers had seen the original group in concert? Where were they when they heard the band? Were they in college? How much did they pay for a ticket? (My bet is that it was under $10 in 1970 compared to $80 today.) Why were they at the concert tonight? What made them want to hear a tribute band? In short, what were they looking for? Or, was it just another night away from the condo or the house in West Palm Beach, Florida?

I never found out. We went to the concert, heard it and left without talking to any of our fellow Baby Boomers and concert attendees. The band was energetic and talented, but not original. They told some stories about the ill effects of too many drugs. One said he was given a joint to smoke by his father at age six. Some had a few stories about how songs were written, but the Cream was never known as songwriters; they were great soloists at a time when they could shine and cement their reputations. That is what brought the crowds 40 years later, but while it was the same music, it was not the same crowd.

A Greek philosopher said “you cannot cross the same river twice,” and he was right. This river had flowed past decades ago. The people in the beautiful concert hall once were in the river; now they were well downstream. And all that happened without selfies to record the change.

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Stop the Lying Before It’s Too Late

 

 

Honesty is always the best policy, especially when it comes to dating.

Now, there is news that Tinder is advocating that men tell the truth about how tall they are. By using a Height Verification Badge, men on Tinder are being asked to authenticate their height.

Here is something from the Tinder web site:

“It’s come to our attention that most of you 5’10ers out there are actually 5’6. The charade must stop. This type of dishonestly [sic, looks like spelling is not a strong suit at Tinder] doesn’t


 The truth is everything.  See story at   www.youdontthinkimbeautiful.com

just hurt your matches—it hurts us, too. Did it ever occur to you that we’re 5’6 and actually love our medium height? Did it ever occur to you that honesty is what separates humans from sinister monsters? Of course not. You were only thinking of yourself.  

“Well, height-lying ends here. To require everyone under 6’ to own up to their real height, we’re bringing truthfulness back into the world of online dating.

“Introducing Tinder’s Height Verification Badge (HVB), because yes—sometimes it matters. It’s the tool we’ve had in our back-pockets for years, but we were hoping your honesty would allow us to keep it there. Our verification tool is super easy to use, and extremely hard to misuse.”

Trust in Dating Goes Both Ways  

As described in my book, when I was dating, many women posted old or misleading photos as the incentive to get the first date. One woman I met told me she went to a world-class professional makeup artist and used that as her cover photo. Many others used old photos for the same reason. One woman used the photo of herself taken at her daughter’s wedding 15 years earlier.

All this fooled me. I met one woman at a restaurant and when she came though the revolving door, I had no idea who she was. She went from a blond to a brunette, from about 120 pounds to someone significantly more. I would never have picked her out of a lineup based on her online photo versus the woman who stood in front of me.

So let’s all agree on truth in dating.  This may be unusual since we live in a society today where the president does not believe in truth, so why should average citizens.

Constant lying undermines the basis of any society, so it is long overdue (some would say it is even too late) to correct the practice. Maybe the Tinder height verification test is a start.

 

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