Achieving any New Year’s resolution is predicated on a degree of self-confidence and self-discipline. The greater the level of these two critical traits, the greater the odds that you can succeed in achieving new goals for 2019.
That applies to everything from losing 15 pounds to working your contacts and developing the new skills to get a better job.
It also applies to getting rid of any baggage you are carrying from last year or longer that is not positively contributing to building your self-esteem and its resulting higher level of confidence. So if you have the basic sense to work an elevator, you can also learn from your mistakes, such as being with an abusive or uncaring mate. Now is the time to take action.
Knowing when to subtract a bad person from your life is
the way to add a lot more to your life in the future.
The Abusive Mate
So it you are going through a mental checklist of things that detract from your ability to achieve e anew gal, don’t forget that person closest to you who is either contributing or detracting from your self-confidence.
If these people don’t add to your esteem, subtract them from your personal equation. The good thing is that only you can do the math. Knowing when to subtract a bad person from your life is the way to add a lot more to your life in the future.
A Case Study from Palm Beach County, Florida
Take the case of a woman who recently decided she had enough from her abusive boyfriend. The boyfriend was a psychiatrist, with academic connection to a major East Coast university, who also worked for a professional athletic team. For months, the psychiatrist was making excessive demands on this woman, also in her mid-50s. Here are some of the problems she faced:
- He made many times her annual salary, but he wanted her to pay for more things around the house.
- He wanted her to cancel a surgery so she could take care of his daughter who needed help around the house.
- He wanted her to not buy a new car so she could instead use that money to buy him a new boat because he always wanted one.
- He repeatedly told her she was inconsiderate and even chided himself for not going out with a wealthier woman.
All this took its toll on the woman, so she decided to break off the relationship after about eight months. When she informed him of her decision, he was livid. He told her he needed to remove her name from the lease immediately (which she was going to do anyway.) He then said that if she did not comply with some of his other demands he would call the local police and then have a “friend” of his at the FBI look into her background.
Better Off Without Him
The woman ended the relationship, but her confidence and self-esteem were shattered. She moped around, but with the help of her girlfriend, found a new place to live and was slowly rebuilding her confidence. She knew it would take months to recover.
The lesson here is that the greatest drain on your self-confidence often comes from a person or group closest to you. If you know the source of your problem, act on it immediately. Break it off and start the recovery process. The faster you make the break, the faster you will be on your way to rediscovering a new world.
For more stories on the trials and tribulations of online dating,
see the book “You Don’t Think I’m Beautiful.“